“We have come to you many times before, and have told you that you shall not fail.” This is the voice of the higher dimensional beings, the angelic guides who so love humanity. They understand how challenging this earthen plane can be. They understand that we sometimes forget just how much we are so loved and honored by our creator.
We can say that we are spiritual beings having a human experience and that all is truly well. But what happens when really bad stuff starts happening in your life? What then? What do you do when someone you have so loved and honored is suddenly your arch enemy?
The pain of such an upset is real yet the soul is always in charge of the flow of light that creates our reality. There is only love here even when we do not feel, see, or experience that. There is only love even when we are experiencing any great challenge that has us believing otherwise. The pain is real yet the love is there also forever propelling us toward our ultimate goal: to open to a greater expansion to understand this very basic truth.
If we can remember that as we are moving through these very intense and life altering challenges, the pain subsides and as it does, love grows.
The story below is about what it means to fall so far off center that you forget who you are. Yet, as drastic as this story may sound as the ultimate control drama, it’s also a story of how love is forever present even when we believe otherwise.
A Story of Spiritual Suicide:
This is a story, a story of a man who so loves a woman that he has a child with the love of his life. He loves his wife as he so adores and honors his daughter. His wife becomes discontent. She decides that she is not worthy of his love, and the jealousy that sets in extends to her daughter. Each time her husband shares his love and care with their daughter, she tightens the noose to shut him out of his parental right to nurture his child.
She sets into motion an emotional bond with her parents, who over the years, have moved into their lives as permanent fixtures in their home. Over time she begins to put them in the place of her husband. Because he so loves her, he goes with the flow of her desires and honors her desire to meld her emotional needs into the help of her parents.
At some point he decides that the boundaries between her parents and his desire to be in relationship with his wife and his daughter must be rebalanced.
He so loves his wife that he says, let’s be together more, and together with them in the midst of our day-to-day reality less.
She braces against his desire and decides to create a wedge between him and her parents. She creates a scenario that he does not love her, and tells them that he wants them out of their lives. In retaliation for him wanting to have his home life back, she creates a scenario that their daughter also rejects his love and keeps her from him however she can. She sings the song to her husband, a song of distancing and alienating their daughter from him.
She sends her husband away and tells him to go find your happiness.
He says to her, “but my happiness is with you and our daughter.”
She says, “No. Go find yourself. Go and stay as long as you wish.”
He says to her, “Okay, I will go, if you want me to and will come back to you and our daughter. I love you.”
And so he goes.
As soon as he is gone, she steps into sever her ties to her husband. She secures her place in the new family order: Her parents, her daughter and herself, and tightens the circle to include only their friends that serve to reinforce this reality. She clears out the marital bank accounts and unilaterally moves to secure all the family assets. She continues to tell her husband to stay away as long as he wishes. She is banking on longer so that she can legally say that he has abandoned the family.
But he says, “I love you and miss you and our daughter,” and so he returns over the objections of his wife.
He returns to a hostile wife. On the day he arrives, she has set up a sacred ceremony to rededicate the home to her new order, her new reality, of family. She tells a story to her friends and daughter about her husband, and in the way that paints him as the Villain. She tells her husband, “No don’t come home. You are not welcome here.”
She puts his belongings outside the house and tells him to come and get them or she will give them all away.
Above the voices of agitation by his wife and her parents, he comes to the home with the protection of law enforcement and exercises his right to enter his home. A week goes by and the hostile voices of the three against the one ring with the den of hatred and malice.
Then one day, he demands that the madness, the bitterness toward him, the grabbing of their shared assets, and legal documents stop. He and his wife meet so that she can return all the documents from his business and other properties that she has taken to copy.
Now they meet in the very home they have so lovingly built together to face off. Both are filming one another and the accusations fly back and forth. He goes to leave. As he bends down to get his papers, his father in-law jumps onto his back and strangles him to the point that he feels that he is about to die.
As his father-in-law is trying to kill him, struggles to break free. He yells, “Stop! He’s killing me.”
He feels his mother-in-law grab his feet while his wife jumps on his back and grabs his arms. His wife, the woman he so loves, yells at her father, “Papa, papa stop!” Then she screams out, again to her father, “Grab his phone!”
His father-in-law lets go of the choke hold he has on his throat and grabs his phone to destroy the evidence of what has just occurred. He smashes it against the floor.
As the son-in-law gets his phone away and back in his hand, he runs from the house. As he is leaving in shock, he hears his wife call 911 and reports that there has been an assault. He hears his wife telling the dispatcher, “He’s wearing a white shirt and black pants and fleeing the house now.”
She tells the lie.
His beautiful wife, the woman that he has built his life with, is telling the police dispatcher that it was not her father who tried to kill her husband but her husband who has harmed her father.
Then she retells the lie.
She tells her friends who rally around her the same story with gusto.
Then another lie.
She files a restraining order against him. “He’s violent,” she tells the police. She wants to keep him away to create the illusion that he cannot be trusted around her, her parents or their daughter.
Then it goes from there.
The plan is nearly in place. Get him convicted of an assault charge and tell everyone she needs to convince that her husband has anger issues and is violent. The goal is to get him barred from their home, their daughter and all their friends to protect the LIES she has now told all who need to believe her to accomplish her goal.
Her goal is to keep her daughter for herself. “All mine,” she says to herself.
But there is just one thing: The evidence of what occurred is all in the phone.
Will she reach her goal or has she committed spiritual suicide?
Regardless of how the evidence of what actually occurred comes forward, the truth always comes out. Remember Watergate? Clinton and Lewinsky? Edward Snowden’s truth bomb about the NSA? Those are the larger more fantastic illusions and lies that eventually got uncovered but the day-to-day reality of trying to hoard love by fearing loss happens every day. The courts are filled with cases where people have maliciously set out to harm others, or lie their way toward achieving their goals. These are the ones who hold such a belief that fear is stronger than love.
Given that we, in this physical reality learn through archetypal living, who is the villain and the victim here? You might think the villain is the father-in-law but think again. Do you believe the husband is the victim? Look more closely. There is also a hero hiding somewhere in the mix.
Who is the villain in the above story?
The father and the mother?
Who is the victim?
The Father and the Mother?
The villain is the Wife, not because she no longer wishes to be married. Nor is it because she grabbed at all the assets or just wanted to recreate her family by cutting her husband out of her life. It was because she lied. She not only told the lie again and again but consciously set out to harm her husband for the express purpose of legally keeping their daughter all to herself.
“All mine” is her motto and at whatever cost to her integrity.
She believes that she has shot a straight arrow to his heart and to secure her ultimate goal but she’s about to find out that she has actually thrown a boomerang.
He will survive and rebuild his life as he keeps his heart open and remembers that he is loved by his creator. But the one who is the victim is the Daughter.
The Daughter is the victim because she is being alienated from her father. She is being taught by her mother that fear is stronger than love, and before the boomerang strikes the mother, she will believe that her father is the Villain. But after she finds out that it was her beloved grandparents and mother who harmed her father, she may just decide that she cannot trust others at all, which would be the real tragedy in this sad tale.
And what about all those friends who have jumped in to take sides? What role are they playing in all of this? Do they, too, have the same lesson as the Villain, the Victim or is there a Hero somewhere in the mix?
The Hero is the one who stands up and speaks Truth to the Villain with compassion and clarity and puts a stop to the illusion and the LIE. The role of a True Friend is that of a hero, one who recognizes that we are here to help one another. We can all get off track from time to time as fear over takes us.
Have you ever compromised your integrity and told a lie to hurt someone? What would you do to recover from spiritual suicide? Would you have the courage to become the Hero and speak your truth with love and compassion to someone who has just become a Villain and is consciously and maliciously harming another?
At the end of the cycle of any control drama, and after all the pain and suffering, Love is the healer and the way to transform. Remember that Love is all there is and is the redeemer no matter how you have committed spiritual suicide. Any time you or someone you love forgets, just remind them to wake-up and be the hero. Help them to remember who they are.