Transformational practices for embracing heart-centered consciousness.

Posts tagged ‘relationships’

Clearing the Shadow

In my quest to clear out the inner clutter, I have discovered family constellation work. It’s quite remarkable in the sense that we can go back to prior generations, long before current day patterns that are wreaking havoc with our peace of mind, and clear them.

The process is akin to seeing through the veil or entering into a lucid dream state and witnessing all the parts of your very own puzzle in third person. It’s the third person self-discovery process that is so powerful.  The facilitator embodies the soul or souls of yesteryear at the point in time when the splintering occurred.

It’s liberating to witness the overlay from here to there, and how the shadow then has played out and manifested in present moment family dynamics. The facets of the current day puzzle fall into place as the original split in the lineage is experienced and actively engaged, and healed.

It’s only been two days since the session, and the blue sky feeling that I came home with from our most recent event in New Mexico is even more clear, more peaceful. I’ve been having lucid dreams that show me, more from a current life review viewpoint my past transgressions, so I can heal and bring peace to past actions. By doing so, I’m experiencing a deeper, wider opening within me. All that inner clutter–the preoccupation with the how, why and when is gone. Dissappeared. What is in it’s place? deep peace.

When the guides talk about gaining one’s freedom, I’m beginning to get a glimpse of the potential ramifications on the rest of my life.  All that space used for worry and concern is now freed up to enjoy life and create what I truly desire.

Transformation of the heart is the key, and energetic healing is the engine that moves the energy. Gotta love it all into wholeness!

Control Dramas: How to Get Back into the Flow

When resentment takes over resulting from mind games with winners and loosers, it’s an ugly sight. Everyone looses. I’m describing the affect of control on the quality of your life, and how to break free.

ControlDramaPower dynamics do not need to over take your life. We share the planet with others but it’s not necessary to surrender your integrity to the level of hostility that force introduces into your life. Nor is control or domination an essential skill set to adopt when you need to stand in your power. There is another way.

Control dramas involve one person—or groups, organizations or whole communities—pushing against a perceived enemy to achieve a specific outcome. These kinds of drama almost always involves a hidden agenda, accompanied by passive aggressive behavior or outright aggression.

The ripple affect from such a polarized way of being can create a residual emotional trauma and a toxic environment for all involved.

Control dramas are easy to identify: One party creates a story about the other then begins to shape their reality around the drama. The goal is to perpetuate false evidence showing up as real to create shock value, a shocking tale big enough that everyone’s attention is suddenly riveted on wrong doing.

This form of illusion making is usually accompanied by an act of intimidation or a direct threat to your well being. The one holding the hammer over your head sets out to get others involved in order to fan the fire of wrong doing. The goal is to get others to point the finger at the victim so that the hidden agenda can be achieved out in full view.

Listen to any control drama story and you will find a villain and a victim. The hidden agenda is there too. All the chaos, as a result of constant spin is designed to keep the chaos kicked into high gear so that the real goal can be achieved. By the time the drama winds down, the mission will have been accomplished.

Our families, courtrooms, political halls and boardrooms are filled with people that spin stories about other people and events for the sole purpose of achieving hidden agendas and using force to ensure intended outcomes. Shame is integral to the process. Instead of holding firm to the facts, the drama king or queen bends, cheats, lies, and manipulates.

Why?

What motivates a person to abandon their basic values to fit the desired outcome?

Fear.

While control dramas are rooted in fear—plain and simple—embracing heart-centered consciousness is based on love. Love is expansive and offers another way to drop or step away from control and stay in the flow.
How to you get out of a cycle? It’s super simple but takes great humility and courage to stay the course. Here are five basic steps:

1. Once you have found yourself in the spin of the drama, it’s easy to loose your perspective. It’s impossible to get out without stepping out. Recognize when you have been lulled into the illusion and stop it right there—as in stop the story. Stop participating in the story. Stop listening to the story or repeating any part of the story to yourself or someone else.

2. Take your power back. Stop believing in the story, as in stop believing that anyone has any power over you. Stop listening, telling or even thinking about the story.

3. Let go of your need to be right. If you are the one who started it, just recant, forgive yourself and ask for forgiveness. If you have been behaving like a victim, realize the blessing of getting your wake-up call. This level of forgiveness is not required to go begging. It’s a simple matter of coming clean, and recognizing that you have fallen out of grace.

4. Get back into alignment with your heart and stop the spin doctoring. Again—stop telling the story. It takes courage and humility to trust in the greater flow of the divine but it’s essential and the only way to ultimately realizing a greater degree of balance and harmony in life.

5. Finally, stuff happens. People make different choices but flow is where it’s at and joyfully so, even in the most chaotic of life transition times, staying true to yourself is the greatest gift and will ultimately find you in the right aligned place at the right time. Be impeccable with your word and speak truth. Trust in the divine flow, and follow the synchronicity.

Finding yourself in a control drama? Take the biggest step: Let go of your need to be right, and align, align, align.

There is Only Love: A Learning About Spiritual Suicide

“We have come to you many times before, and have told you that you shall not fail.” This is the voice of the higher dimensional beings, the angelic guides who so love humanity. They understand how challenging this earthen plane can be. They understand that we sometimes forget just how much we are so loved and honored by our creator.

We can say that we are spiritual beings having a human experience and that all is truly well. But what happens when really bad stuff starts happening in your life? What then? What do you do when someone you have so loved and honored is suddenly your arch enemy?

The pain of such an upset is real yet the soul is always in charge of the flow of light that creates our reality. There is only love here even when we do not feel, see, or experience that. There is only love even when we are experiencing any great challenge that has us believing otherwise. The pain is real yet the love is there also forever propelling us toward our ultimate goal: to open to a greater expansion to understand this very basic truth.

If we can remember that as we are moving through these very intense and life altering challenges, the pain subsides and as it does, love grows.

The story below is about what it means to fall so far off center that you forget who you are. Yet, as drastic as this story may sound as the ultimate control drama, it’s also a story of how love is forever present even when we believe otherwise.

A Story of Spiritual Suicide: 

Spiritual SuicideThis is a story, a story of a man who so loves a woman that he has a child with the love of his life. He loves his wife as he so adores and honors his daughter. His wife becomes discontent. She decides that she is not worthy of his love, and the jealousy that sets in extends to her daughter. Each time her husband shares his love and care with their daughter, she tightens the noose to shut him out of his parental right to nurture his child.

She sets into motion an emotional bond with her parents, who over the years, have moved into their lives as permanent fixtures in their home. Over time she begins to put them in the place of her husband. Because he so loves her, he goes with the flow of her desires and honors her desire to meld her emotional needs into the help of her parents.

At some point he decides that the boundaries between her parents and his desire to be in relationship with his wife and his daughter must be rebalanced.

He so loves his wife that he says, let’s be together more, and together with them in the midst of our day-to-day reality less.

She braces against his desire and decides to create a wedge between him and her parents. She creates a scenario that he does not love her, and tells them that he wants them out of their lives. In retaliation for him wanting to have his home life back, she creates a scenario that their daughter also rejects his love and keeps her from him however she can. She sings the song to her husband, a song of distancing and alienating their daughter from him.

She sends her husband away and tells him to go find your happiness.

He says to her, “but my happiness is with you and our daughter.”

She says, “No. Go find yourself. Go and stay as long as you wish.”

He says to her, “Okay, I will go, if you want me to and will come back to you and our daughter. I love you.”

And so he goes.

As soon as he is gone, she steps into sever her ties to her husband. She secures her place in the new family order: Her parents, her daughter and herself, and tightens the circle to include only their friends that serve to reinforce this reality. She clears out the marital bank accounts and unilaterally moves to secure all the family assets. She continues to tell her husband to stay away as long as he wishes. She is banking on longer so that she can legally say that he has abandoned the family.

But he says, “I love you and miss you and our daughter,” and so he returns over the objections of his wife.

He returns to a hostile wife. On the day he arrives, she has set up a sacred ceremony to rededicate the home to her new order, her new reality, of family. She tells a story to her friends and daughter about her husband, and in the way that paints him as the Villain. She tells her husband, “No don’t come home. You are not welcome here.”

She puts his belongings outside the house and tells him to come and get them or she will give them all away.

Above the voices of agitation by his wife and her parents, he comes to the home with the protection of law enforcement and exercises his right to enter his home. A week goes by and the hostile voices of the three against the one ring with the den of hatred and malice.

Then one day, he demands that the madness, the bitterness toward him, the grabbing of their shared assets, and legal documents stop. He and his wife meet so that she can return all the documents from his business and other properties that she has taken to copy.

Now they meet in the very home they have so lovingly built together to face off. Both are filming one another and the accusations fly back and forth. He goes to leave. As he bends down to get his papers, his father in-law jumps onto his back and strangles him to the point that he feels that he is about to die.

As his father-in-law is trying to kill him, struggles to break free. He yells, “Stop! He’s killing me.”

He feels his mother-in-law grab his feet while his wife jumps on his back and grabs his arms. His wife, the woman he so loves, yells at her father, “Papa, papa stop!” Then she screams out, again to her father, “Grab his phone!”

His father-in-law lets go of the choke hold he has on his throat and grabs his phone to destroy the evidence of what has just occurred. He smashes it against the floor.

As the son-in-law gets his phone away and back in his hand, he runs from the house. As he is leaving in shock, he hears his wife call 911 and reports that there has been an assault. He hears his wife telling the dispatcher, “He’s wearing a white shirt and black pants and fleeing the house now.”

She tells the lie.

His beautiful wife, the woman that he has built his life with, is telling the police dispatcher that it was not her father who tried to kill her husband but her husband who has harmed her father.

Then she retells the lie.

She tells her friends who rally around her the same story with gusto.

Then another lie.

She files a restraining order against him. “He’s violent,” she tells the police. She wants to keep him away to create the illusion that he cannot be trusted around her, her parents or their daughter.

Then it goes from there.

The plan is nearly in place. Get him convicted of an assault charge and tell everyone she needs to convince that her husband has anger issues and is violent. The goal is to get him barred from their home, their daughter and all their friends to protect the LIES she has now told all who need to believe her to accomplish her goal.

Her goal is to keep her daughter for herself. “All mine,” she says to herself.

But there is just one thing: The evidence of what occurred is all in the phone.

Will she reach her goal or has she committed spiritual suicide?

Regardless of how the evidence of what actually occurred comes forward, the truth always comes out. Remember Watergate? Clinton and Lewinsky? Edward Snowden’s truth bomb about the NSA? Those are the larger more fantastic illusions and lies that eventually got uncovered but the day-to-day reality of trying to hoard love by fearing loss happens every day. The courts are filled with cases where people have maliciously set out to harm others, or lie their way toward achieving their goals. These are the ones who hold such a belief that fear is stronger than love.

Given that we, in this physical reality learn through archetypal living, who is the villain and the victim here? You might think the villain is the father-in-law but think again. Do you believe the husband is the victim? Look more closely. There is also a hero hiding somewhere in the mix.

Who is the villain in the above story?
The husband?
The wife?
The father and the mother?
The daughter?

Who is the victim?
The husband?
The wife?
The Father and the Mother?
The daughter?

The villain is the Wife, not because she no longer wishes to be married. Nor is it because she grabbed at all the assets or just wanted to recreate her family by cutting her husband out of her life. It was because she lied. She not only told the lie again and again but consciously set out to harm her husband for the express purpose of  legally keeping their daughter all to herself.

“All mine” is her motto and at whatever cost to her integrity.

She believes that she has shot a straight arrow to his heart and to secure her ultimate goal but she’s about to find out that she has actually thrown a boomerang.

He will survive and rebuild his life as he keeps his heart open and remembers that he is loved by his creator. But the one who is the victim is the Daughter.

The Daughter is the victim because she is being alienated from her father. She is being taught by her mother that fear is stronger than love, and before the boomerang strikes the mother, she will believe that her father is the Villain. But after she finds out that it was her beloved grandparents and mother who harmed her father, she may just decide that she cannot trust others at all, which would be the real tragedy in this sad tale.

And what about all those friends who have jumped in to take sides? What role are they playing in all of this? Do they, too, have the same lesson as the Villain, the Victim or is there a Hero somewhere in the mix?

The Hero is the one who stands up and speaks Truth to the Villain with compassion and clarity and puts a stop to the illusion and the LIE. The role of a True Friend is that of a hero, one who recognizes that we are here to help one another. We can all get off track from time to time as fear over takes us.

Have you ever compromised your integrity and told a lie to hurt someone? What would you do to recover from spiritual suicide? Would you have the courage to become the Hero and speak your truth with love and compassion to someone who has just become a Villain and is consciously and maliciously harming another?

At the end of the cycle of any control drama, and after all the pain and suffering, Love is the healer and the way to transform. Remember that Love is all there is and is the redeemer no matter how you have committed spiritual suicide.  Any time you or someone you love forgets, just remind them to wake-up and be the hero. Help them to remember who they are.

Reality Creation

Are you ready to experience life at a whole new level of amazement, joy, happiness, and abundance?!

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Reality Creation is its own animal. It’s a way of approaching life in flow mode and not worrying about all the details of why you can’t or shouldn’t follow your heart. You just do, and there are specific sign posts to give you the feedback to give you the encouragement to keep going. It’s not just a mind set either. Reality creation is all heart with the key to it all: Staying open to new possibility and expansion. In short, it’s a way of being in the world.

Once you know the principles of Reality Creation and how to design your ideal lifestyle, everything you’ve ever dreamed of becomes real in your life.  Trust me, I know it’s possible through my own life experience. 

And if you’re ready for the next level in your life, then please join me and more than 44 other leading experts in the fields of “Reality Creation”, Lifestyle Design, Manifestation, and “Law of Attraction” for a life changing international online summit. I’m honored to have been invited to share my version of what this is all about.

Look for my interview with hostess Laura Fox on July 9th at noon est.

Register free by visiting: http://therealitycreationsummit.com/dap/a/?a=8

Join me on the summit as expert speakers share…

==> How to Design Your Ideal Lifestyle
==> How to Actually Make Law of Attraction Work for You
==> Creating a Reality of Health, Happiness, and Abundance
==> How to Manifest, Attract, and Create that Which You Truly Desire
==> Understand the Cause of Conflict so it Doesn’t Kill Your Relationships
==> Awaken the Inner Genius of Higher Consciousness
==> Explore the Nature of Multi-Dimensional Realities
==> Metaphysical Filmmaking and Conscious Media
==> The Law of Distraction And How to Use it to Your Advantage
==> Creating a Miraculous Life through Emotional Freedom
==> How To Become An Applied Futurist
==> And Much More!!!

Register for the Reality Creation Summit today;
http://therealitycreationsummit.com/dap/a/?a=8

I highly encourage you to attend this summit, if even you only listen to a few of the presentations, you will be inspired and empowered to take your life, career, finances, relationships, and health to a whole new level, and if you are unable to attend all of the presentations, but want to own them to listen to again and again, you can choose one of the upgrade options available after registration. 

Sincerely,
Carol Fitzpatrick

P.S. 
Don’t miss this!  Register free here to catch all of these life changing interviews: http://therealitycreationsummit.com/dap/a/?a=8

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